Love is defined in many ways, and dating someone with Borderline personality disorder is simply an added rollercoaster to the feeling of affection. Sometimes, you just do not understand what is happening or why it is happening, and you might even fear the person or get frustrated with them being with Borderline personality disorder. However, it should also be acknowledged here that it will also be possible to work it out if everyone spends time trying to understand each other and provide support when he or she can no longer manage to take the struggle.
Here are some of the topics we will discuss in this blog: the general experience of dating a Borderline personality disorder partner, potential issues that you are likely to face, and how to overcome them.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health disorder that affects the patterns of thinking, perceiving emotions, and behaviors. Some of the special characteristics of Borderline personality disorder include being unable to manage one’s own emotions, which especially impacts relationships, causing a tendency to unstable relationships and the feeling of abandonment. These people may change their mood all of a sudden, lack self-control, and have a distorted self-image. It’s important to note that if someone you’re dating suffers from Borderline personality disorder, these issues are not caused by the person, and these mood swings can change on their own with the correct assistance.
Challenges in Dating Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Partners of individuals diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder often experience an incredible number of difficulties in their relationships. Understanding these will help you better manage your relationship:
- Emotional Intensity: This means that your partner may get hurt more easily, be angered more easily, and feel everything much more.
- Fear of Abandonment: They may always harbor a feeling that the day you decide to ‘dump’ them will be the day.
- Mood Swings: Their unpredictable emotions can be attributed to drastic changes in moods they sometimes develop suddenly.
- Impulsivity: Borderline personality disorder also results in impulsive behaviors such as buying or indulging in dangerous behaviors.
Although relationships face these challenges, it does not mean that your own relationship is a goner. Knowing the early signs of domestic violence and remaining vigilant will enable you to have a loving relationship.
Ways to Support Your Partner
Caring for someone with Borderline personality disorder can enrich your relationship and also help you work on yourself. Here are some ways to offer support:
- Be Patient: They are not aggressive; what they do is part of the disorder.
- Communicate Openly: Explain how and what you feel and invite them to express the same as well.
- Encourage Treatment: Cognitive behavioral therapy that includes Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is suitable for Borderline personality disorder clients.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: Restrictions are an objective necessity in your relationship to achieve the proper level of mutual feelings.
In this case, using these strategies will make it easy to receive more support and stability from your partner.
Strengthening the Partnership
As much as there are issues, there are also many possibilities of how you can progress your relationship in the course of dating a Borderline personality disorder partner. Make sure to look at yourself and your partner’s needs and desires.
Tips for Building a Healthier Bond:
- Practice Empathy: If you cannot relate to them, attempt to learn how it feels when in their shoes empathetically.
- Take Time for Yourself: Take care of yourself and your mind first.
- Attend Therapy Together: It is also important to notice that only couples therapy is effective if the couple deals with the problems themselves.
What You Should Avoid
It is also equally relevant to unravel what should not be done when one is in a relationship with a Borderline personality disorder partner. This is because when a conflict is present tense, it is likely to rise, especially if mistakes are caused.
- Don’t Take Things Personally: The times they yell at you are not at you but derived from inner issues.
- Avoid ignoring their needs: Borderline personality disorder individuals require emotional validation; therefore, do not avoid their anxieties.
- Avoid ultimatums: Affirming could also exacerbate their fear of abandonment and arguments or threats could occur.
However, once you know what leads to objectionable outcomes, he or she can work toward building a more suitable foundation for the relationship.
Communication Is Key
Nonetheless, one of the most critical parts of relating to a person with Borderline personality disorder is communication. This means that where these considerations are not addressed informally and comprehensively, several instances of confrontation and tension can develop. Make both of you express your feelings often, be tolerant, and do not interrupt your partner.
Communication should be
- Honest: Share how you’re feeling.
- Compassionate: Remember that your partner’s issues literally stem from the fact that they have a disorder.
- Non-reactive: Stay calm, even when emotions run high.
However, effective communication seems to be the key to creating a more efficient and solid relationship.
Self-Care is Important Too
As with all personality disorders, cohabitation with a partner who has Borderline personality disorder can be challenging, and it is important that the sufferer be aware of the need to look after their partner as much as their partner has to look after them. Taking care of oneself can also help avoid burnout, as well as provide good care for the partner.
Self-Care Tips
- Take breaks: Take your time and do things that make you happy apart from being with your partner.
- Seek support: Consult your friends, your family, or even a counselor.
- Stay balanced: This is also important and should also be met so that you do not get emotionally drained.
After taking care of yourself, you will be in a position to support your partner.
Conclusion
Patience, a virtue, as they say, and love are part and parcel of the same coin.
Thus, while dating a person with Borderline personality disorder can be challenging, it can also be rewarding. Every relationship is unique and should be preserved with understanding and patience, with no place for misunderstandings. You both need respect and understanding, and when you both accept it, you are on the right path to building a better relationship.
We at Avisa believe that any relationship should encompass and be protected by communication, compassion, and perception. Whether you’re working through mental health issues on your own or with a partner, Avisa is readily available to assist.