If you ever found yourself replaying a conversation with your partner, overanalyzing every detail, thinking why he would say that, and wondering if he really cares about you, you might be suffering from attachment anxiety.

Attachment anxiety arises from attachment theory, which suggests that people tend to make bonds based on their early caregiving styles. If the primary caregiver often seems busy and struggles to make time for the child, the child grows up craving for attention and fears detachment.

This blog is to help you understand 5 signs of attachment anxiety that you can spot in yourself or people around you and get the required help.

What Is Attachment Anxiety?

As the phrase depicts, attachment anxiety makes you worry more often about your partner’s feelings for you, and you need constant reassurance to feel safe in the relationship.

Roughly 1 out of 5 individuals in the U.S. struggle with attachment anxiety, and this number is constantly rising.

It’s more than an occasional worry; rather, it is a constant and recurring thought that makes sustaining the relationship difficult.

How Attachment Anxiety Manifests in Relationships

Every relationship needs work, and none of that has been perfect since the beginning.

What you focus on, it grows. If you focus on scenarios where certain things are not working out and how your partner fails at everything, you tend to loosen your grip. This would lead to overthinking, criticizing, or worse, self-sabotaging in this relationship.

A relationship is more than a fairy tale and roses. You can focus on each other for your entire life and consider this a successful relationship. Every individual should have interests, unique choices, and independent decision-making skills to improve their relationship with the other person.

Everyone experiences emotional rollercoasters, but if you depend on your moods in your relationship and blame the other person, it will fall apart.

5 Signs You Might Be Struggling with Attachment Anxiety

Although it’s difficult to spot signs at first, if carefully analyzed, you can look for these 5 signs of attachment anxiety.

1 . Overthinking has become your habit.

Thinking more than required about certain events and situations is often healthy if it’s about the right event or situation. Overthinking is necessary till the time it doesn’t make you overwhelmed. If you are replaying events and overthinking some random conversation from the past, it’s a sign of attachment anxiety.

2. You struggle to set healthy boundaries.

Being available for someone is necessary, but being too attached to them is harmful. If you struggle to say no to people when it’s affecting your mental health, you might have attachment anxiety.

3. You are stuck in the past.

Moving on is difficult but essential for one’s well-being. Bad things happen to everyone, but failing to accept the new reality and forgetting the past results in anxious thoughts that affect all areas of one’s life.

4. You are fearful of being abandoned.

Even when the relationship is going well, having constant “what if” scenarios in your head can complicate the situation; if, if you are fearful that your partner has second thoughts about you, you need to address the problem before it turns into something big.

5. You look for constant reassurance from your partner.

A romantic relationship is only a part of life, and both partners should understand and give space to each other. If you want your partner to keep doing something or the other for you constantly and are worried if he even loves you like before, it’s a strong sign of attachment anxiety.

How to Cope with Attachment Anxiety in Daily Life

There are several ways to cope with attachment anxiety and these are some ways that you can try on your own and see if it makes a difference.

1. Become self-aware

Understanding and accepting that you are struggling with attachment anxiety is the first step to curing it. Sometimes, it’s all about being mindful of what you want and what you are getting. Sit with your thoughts and write what you feel and a possible reason beside it. It will help you process your thoughts and take the necessary steps.

2. Communicate with your partner.

Most problems can be solved by communicating effectively. Instead of making accusations and worsening the relationship, help your partner understand your requirements. Tell them about your feelings so that they know and can act accordingly.

3. Consult a therapist

We understand that sometimes it becomes too much to handle, and you become mentally paralyzed as to what you should do. If the situation looks out of control, consult a professional who can see the problem from a third person’s perspective and guide you in the right direction.

4. Build a life out of a romantic relationship.

If the maximum amount of your time, effort, and mind space is going into keeping one relationship alive, it’s too much to handle. You should have friends, hobbies, tasks, interests, and goals outside your relationship. When you explore, you get new perspectives, and your partner should support you in everything you do.

5. Avoid negative self-talk

One important factor determining your self-worth is how you talk about yourself when you are alone. Negative self-talk can impact your thinking about yourself and, hence, is a standing barrier to your progress. Creating a list of all your achievements so far and giving yourself a reason to be proud of yourself can help you cope with attachment anxiety. This shows that you are capable of doing things even when no one is by your side.

How Avisa Recovery can help you get rid of Attachment Anxiety

At Avisa Recovery, we address attachment wounds through personalized care, which includes:

• Couple Counselling: As attachment anxiety mainly occurs due to a lack of trust in relationships, we help couples improve communication and rebuild lost trust.
• Personalized Therapy Sessions: We offer a variety of therapies tailored to your needs and help you navigate your emotions through effective activities and listening to you non-judgementally.
• Support Groups: At Avisa Recovery, you can access support groups with individuals who are going through similar situations and who understand your struggles.

We understand how difficult it is to rise above your emotions and accept that you need help. Once you take the first step of reaching out to us with your concerns, we make sure to create a safe space for you, as we have done for thousands of other individuals.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: What triggers attachment anxiety?
A: Attachment anxiety is triggered by past experiences, especially in early childhood relationships. The fear of abandonment can also trigger it when someone close to you seems distant or unavailable. 

Q: How long does attachment anxiety therapy take?
A: The length of therapy varies from person to person, but it generally takes several months to make progress. It really depends on how deeply attached anxiety has affected your life and how much you are ready to put in. 

Q: How to love someone with an attachment anxiety disorder?
A: Loving someone with attachment anxiety requires patience and reassurance. Be consistent, reliable, and available for them. Communication is the key in such cases hence, listen to their thoughts and show concern when they need it.

Q: What is the root cause of my anxious attachment?
A: Anxious attachment often stems from early experiences with caregivers. If they were inconsistent, unavailable, or overly critical, it may lead to fears of abandonment or not being good enough. Sometimes, past relationships or traumatic events can also contribute to these feelings.

Q: How does the therapist at Avisa Recovery treat anxious attachment?
A : We at Avisa Recovery typically use a combination of therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and attachment-based therapy to help you understand your patterns. We work with you to build emotional awareness, improve communication, and develop healthier ways to connect with others.