In today’s era, where everyone tries to be better than everyone else, we constantly deal with self-doubt, thinking we are not doing the right thing, and that’s why we don’t have what other people do.
A constant feeling of self-doubt leads us to be empty, hopeless, and worthless because no matter how hard we try, someone will always be better than us. This is the seed of anxiety and abandonment issues, which further raise concerns that are hard to tackle.
This blog will help you understand the link between anxiety and abandonment issues, the common causes and symptoms of the same, and how you can support someone dealing with this.
What are Abandonment Issues?
Let’s begin by understanding what abandonment issues look like and how you can spot them in yourself. Remember how, as a child, if your parents leave you with a caretaker or a relative because they have an important thing to take care of, you start crying and crave their attention, which you might not do even if they are constantly near you. This feeling of wanting your parents is one example of a fear of abandonment.
In adults, this feeling arises when we ignore our feelings for a long period and keep ourselves engaged in activities that keep us away from understanding ourselves better. If you find yourself feeling a fear that a close one will leave you whenever they start talking to a new person, won’t indulge with you for some days, or just reply to you late because of work, you might be experiencing anxiety and abandonment issues.
Causes of Abandonment Issues
Dealing with anxiety and abandonment issues at the same time is harder than you think. But knowing the right cause can help you see what you are looking for.
- Childhood negligence by the caretaker or parents
- Unstable relationships leaving the person emotionally drained
- Verbal, physical, or emotional abuse at any age
- Being separated from a closed one
- Seeing toxic relationships around
- Experiencing gaslighting and manipulation at different points in times
Knowing these causes just by observing is difficult and unpredictable. A more practical way is to talk to the person and learn the root cause. Avisa Recovery helps you do exactly this. Our certified therapists understand the causes behind your thoughts and give you a path to recovery.
How abandonment fears trigger anxiety responses
A constant and recurring fear of abandonment is the beginning of worse symptoms and can result in mental health disorders. Here’s what a person with anxiety and abandonment issues goes through.
- His nervous system becomes sensitive to the fear of loss and rejection, resulting in loss of opportunities.
- He gets into a fight, flight, or freeze mode, leading to anxious thoughts.
- He starts to feel uneasy, both physically and mentally
- He starts misinterpreting others’ behavior and overthinks possible outcomes
- He gets into a vicious cycle of overanalyzing critical details of situations
- He tends to create conflicts to become the center of attention
- He can observe having sudden emotional breakdowns
The Role of Attachment Styles in abandonment-related Anxiety
When it comes to understanding human behavior, making a note of their attachment style is of utmost importance. An attachment style describes how an individual forms and nurtures relationships by expressing emotions and handling conflict at the same time.
According to John Bowly and Mary Ainsworth’s attachment theory, there are different attachment styles a person adapts and how it’s related to anxiety and abandonment issues.
1. Secure Attachment
People with a secure attachment style are less likely to have any anxiety and abandonment issues because they have a clear balance of emotions within themselves.
2. Anxious Attachment
These people are most likely to be stuck in toxic relationships due to fear of being alone and struggle to balance their emotions. They tend to overthink, seek external validation, and question themselves most of the time.
3. Avoidant Attachment
These people fear getting dependent on anyone, especially for their emotional needs; they avoid getting close to people, struggle to develop healthy relationships, and might have hidden anxiety about being rejected.
4. Disorganized Attachment
These people are unsure about their feelings and often spend time figuring out what they are looking for. In the process, they might find it difficult to trust others, have anxiety and abandonment issues, and indulge in self-sabotaging behavior.
How to Support Someone with Anxiety and Abandonment Issues
Most of the time, such traits are often visible to people close to us even before we realize what we are going through. Here’s a quick guide on how you can support someone with anxiety and abandonment issues and help them live a better life.
1. Make them aware
If you ever observe any of the above traits in someone, try having a conversation with them about your observations and communicate what you feel. They might be completely unaware of how others are pursuing and change themselves instantly without any further assistance.
2. Deal with patience and calmness.
Suppose they start reacting negatively about their situation by creating panic, having anxiety, and feeling restlessness. In that case, it’s your job to calm yourself as well as the other person because they might not be in the right mental state.
3. Recommend professional help
Once you have tried your best to significantly change another person’s thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, you can connect them with a professional if they still seem off.
How does Avisa Recovery play a role in coping with anxiety and abandonment issues?
We recognize how challenging it can be to express your emotions openly and to live in constant fear of criticism. Avisa Recovery is here to support you at all times as your friends, partners, and mentors.
Through therapies, medication-assisted treatment, inpatient and outpatient treatments, recovery coaching, psychiatric evaluations, and supportive housing, we assist people with any kind of mental health issue. We can help you whenever it is most convenient for you, both in person and virtually.
If you leave your concerns here, you can request a callback, and a member of our team will contact you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: What is the trauma response to abandonment?
A: The trauma response to abandonment includes fear, panic, self-sabotage, and emotional dysregulation due to past rejection or neglect.
Q: Can anxiety cause abandonment issues?
A: Yes, chronic anxiety can intensify fears of abandonment, making individuals hyperaware of rejection and overly dependent on reassurance.
Q: What attachment style is fear of abandonment?
A: Anxious attachment is most associated with fear of abandonment, leading to clinginess, insecurity, and a constant need for validation.
Q: How can I cure anxiety and abandonment issues myself?
A: Self-awareness, therapy, emotional regulation, and building healthy relationships can help heal anxiety and abandonment fears.
Q: How do you calm abandonment anxiety?
A: Deep breathing, self-soothing techniques, mindfulness, and reframing negative thoughts can help manage abandonment anxiety.
