Avisa Recovery

Parenting Tips For Your Teenager With Borderline Personality Disorder


Parenting a teenager is already tough, but if your teen has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it adds more challenges. BPD is a mental health issue where someone has big mood swings, does risky things, and struggles to control their feelings.

If you’re one of the many parents dealing with this, it’s important to give your teen lots of support and guidance. Encourage them to get help from professionals. Getting the right medical care is key. As a parent, you can create a safe and stable home by setting clear rules and showing understanding. This helps your teen feel secure and supported, which is crucial for their well-being.

Parents should also watch their own behavior because it affects their teen’s BPD. Encouraging healthy habits like exercise and relaxation techniques can also be helpful. Programs like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can give teens the skills they need to handle BPD better and live happier lives. Understanding how to handle this as a parent is important for your teen’s happiness and your family’s harmony.

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Teenagers

BPD in teenagers can show up in many different ways, so it’s important for parents to understand its symptoms and behaviors. According to the The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), borderline personality disorder affects about 1.4% of adults, and its prevalence among adolescents is between 0.9% and 3%.

A teenager’s life can be more complicated than it seems. Sometimes, teens might act impulsively or in ways that seem out of character. Intense emotions or being overly concerned about fitting in are common experiences for many teens. Adolescents face many changes in their lives, including shifts in school, social circles, and emotions due to hormonal changes.

While borderline personality disorder doesn’t have officially recognized subtypes in diagnostic manuals like the DSM-5, some clinicians and researchers have identified patterns or subgroups of symptoms within BPD. These subgroups are not universally accepted but are sometimes discussed in the field of psychology:

  1. Discouraged Borderline: Individuals with this subtype often struggle with feelings of self-doubt and inadequacies. They might have difficulty expressing their anger outwardly and instead turn it inward, leading to self-harm or depressive symptoms.
  2. Petulant Borderline: This subtype may exhibit more outwardly directed anger and hostility. They might feel a sense of entitlement and may have more disruptive relationships due to their difficulty in managing emotions and impulsivity.
  3. Impulsive Borderline: Individuals in this category tend to display prominent impulsivity in their behaviors, which can include substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, or risky sexual behavior. They might struggle intensely with controlling their impulses.
  4. Self-Destructive Borderline: This subtype may exhibit the most self-harming behaviors, including suicide attempts, cutting, or other self-injurious behaviors. They may have extreme difficulties with regulating their emotions and might engage in behaviors that put their lives at risk.

However, it’s crucial to distinguish between typical teenage behavior and signs of a more serious issue like BPD. Recognizing these differences is important for identifying and supporting teenagers who may be dealing with mental health challenges.

Key Solutions in Parenting a Borderline Personality Disorder Teenager

1. Educate Yourself About Borderline Personality Disorder

Knowledge is power. Learn about the symptoms, triggers, and treatment options for teenagers. Recognizing borderline personality disorder is complex due to its association with other conditions, leading to intense reactions and emotional instability in affected individuals. Many people close to someone with borderline personality disorder often sense that something isn’t right without understanding what it might be. Learning about a BPD diagnosis can bring both relief and a renewed sense of hope.

2. Foster a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive and stable environment at home is crucial for a teenager with BPD. Establishing predictable routines and open communication channels can aid in managing their emotional turbulence. Supporting someone through challenging times requires patience, non-judgmental understanding, and consistency. Embracing a calm demeanor while reminding them of their strengths can foster resilience. Setting clear boundaries aids in maintaining a healthy dynamic while planning and understanding their triggers allow for proactive support. Providing distractions can be beneficial, offering moments of relief and redirection from their difficulties. These positive actions collectively create a supportive environment, demonstrating care and empathy while assisting them in navigating their challenges.

3. Practice Patience and Empathy

Dealing with the erratic behavior of a borderline personality disorder teenager requires immense patience. Showing empathy and understanding during their emotional outbursts can help in diffusing tense situations.

4. Encourage Therapy and Treatment

Encourage your teenager to engage in therapy and seek professional help. Evidence-based treatments like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) have shown effectiveness in managing BPD symptoms in adolescents. Instead of using absolute terms like “always” or “never,” highlight specific instances or examples that have caused your apprehension, detailing the problematic behaviors you’ve observed.

5. Implement Healthy Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essential for both the parent and the teenager with BPD. Setting clear yet reasonable boundaries can help manage challenging behaviors while ensuring a respectful relationship. Following a well-organised schedule can reduce the sense of disorder and enhance a feeling of health in managing one’s life. This can include keeping consistent sleep patterns, regular meal schedules, exercise, and allocating time for leisure activities to support overall physical, mental, and social well-being. Consistent physical activity and a well-balanced diet have a considerable effect on mood regulation and emotional well-being.

Myths around borderline personality disorder in teenagers

1. Borderline personality disorder is Just Teenage Behavior  

Some parents believe that the signs of borderline personality disorder in teens are merely typical adolescent mood swings, dismissing the severity of emotional instability and relationship difficulties characteristic of BPD.

2. Borderline personality disorder is Untreatable

There’s a misconception that BPD is an unmanageable condition without effective treatment options. However, it might be challenging but not impossible to treat, especially in adolescents, various therapeutic approaches, like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can significantly assist in symptom management and enhancing life quality.

3. It is just Attention-Seeking Behavior

Some people wrongly assume that individuals, including teenagers, with BPD, act out solely for attention. In reality, these teen’s behaviors often stem from deep emotional distress rather than a simple desire for attention.

4. Borderline personality disorder is a Personality Flaw

Contrary to the belief that BPD is a conscious choice or character flaw, it’s a complex mental health disorder influenced by genetic, environmental, and neurobiological factors.

5. Borderline personality disorder Can’t Develop in Adolescence

Despite the belief that personality disorders like BPD only emerge in adulthood, symptoms may begin to show up during adolescence, although diagnosing during this developmental stage can be challenging due to typical emotional upheavals.

6. It’s Incurable 

While Borderline personality disorder can sustain long for some, it’s not a hopeless condition. Many individuals can effectively manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives with appropriate therapy and support.

Seeking Professional Support and Resources

As a parent, it’s essential to remember that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. There are numerous resources available to assist you in understanding and effectively parenting a teenager with BPD. Organizations such as The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offer support groups and educational materials tailored to families dealing with BPD.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What are the common signs of Borderline Personality Disorder in teenagers?

Some common signs of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in teenagers include intense mood swings, impulsive behaviors (such as substance abuse, and reckless driving), unstable relationships, fear of abandonment, self-harming tendencies, and extreme emotional reactions to situations.

2. Is it possible to manage Borderline Personality Disorder in teenagers without professional help?

While it’s essential to seek professional guidance and support for managing BPD in teenagers, creating a stable and supportive environment at home can significantly contribute to managing the condition. However, professional therapy and evidence-based treatments like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are usually recommended for effective management.

3. How can I communicate effectively with my teenager who has Borderline Personality Disorder?

Communication with a teenager diagnosed with BPD requires patience and empathy. It’s essential to listen actively, validate their emotions, and avoid judgment or criticism. Using a calm and non-confrontational approach while setting clear boundaries can facilitate healthier communication.

4. Are there any specific parenting strategies that work best for teenagers with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Creating a structured and consistent routine, practicing active listening, fostering a supportive environment, encouraging therapy, and setting clear boundaries are effective parenting strategies for managing a teenager with BPD. Additionally, educating oneself about BPD and being patient and empathetic are crucial in navigating this situation.

5. Can Borderline Personality Disorder in teenagers improve over time?

With proper treatment, support, and therapy, many teenagers with BPD can experience improvement in their symptoms over time. However, it’s essential to note that each individual’s journey is unique, and consistent management and support are necessary for positive progress.


Parenting a teenager with BPD demands patience, understanding, and a commitment to continual support and care. By educating yourself, creating a supportive environment, and seeking professional support, you can empower both yourself and your teenage kid to navigate the challenges of borderline personality disorder. Although it is a challenging road, with the right strategies and care, there can be visible progress and growth. If you need any help, visit Avisa Recovery for Borderline Personality Disorder

Begin Your Journey

Request a 100% Confidential Consultation

"*" indicates required fields


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *